Out of the Darkness

For no reason at all I have felt sad all afternoon/evening. Again, the house felt empty and quiet. Chris was working so I was home alone with William, but he sure is full of life, so there should have been nothing quiet and empty about it. Maybe it is from being off work for so many days, since work still is a major part of my social life. More than anything, however, I think the darkness finally got to me. The winters in Sweden are LONG and DARK. Even though we don't have much winter weather so far this winter, the amount of daylight (or lack thereof) is still the same every year. And actually, without snow on the ground, it is even darker. Since December 21st was the shortest day of the year, it means we are already 12 days moving out of the darkness. It will only get lighter! Snuggles with my little boy, chocolate, a glass of wine and a 2 hour Skype date with one of my dearest friends has gotten me back to my happy, positive self. Moving out of the darkness.

That emptiness after company leave

Once again, I am left with the emptiness after someone has left. This time it was my mom and my little brother who had visited for Christmas. We took them to the train station this morning and immediately the feeling of loneliness took over my body. Now the house is quiet and empty. No longer does it feel warm and cozy. Only dark and cold. Everyone who have experienced this emptiness, myself included, know it is only temporary. Usually last no more than a day. Tomorrow, we should be back in high spirits.

One year

It's exactly one year ago today, that we left the United States. It was extremely hard to say good bye to everyone. It's not like I haven't been through it all before, but this time it was different. This time it was permanent. It doesn't mean that we won't be back to visit, cause I am sure we will at some point. But visiting is never the same. That is probably why saying farewell to my colleagues was the hardest, because once I left the team, I would never be part of it again. With other friends, we will still be friends, even if we don't hang out or talk as often. My last day at work, I was a mess. I cried non-stop while cleaning out my desk and then finally we went bowling for lunch. With the recent election we had divided up the team by political parties. My team lost, but we had fun. Then my boss held a speech for me and it was very sweet. Thinking about that last day with my team still brings tears to my eyes. I don't think I will ever have a team that amazing again. Today is exactly one year since we left Arkansas. Tomorrow is exactly one year since we arrived in Sweden. Today I mourn. Tomorrow I will celebrate!

Friends all around the world

Some of my best friends live in Arkansas, Canada, India, Germany, Denmark, Washington and Sweden. I love having friends all around the world!!! But it also means that I miss my friends all the time!

Au-pair reunion - we made it happen!

William and I took the train from Linköping to Copenhagen where we met up with Irina and Maja who flew in from Münich. There we rented a car and drove down together to Nykøbing, Falster. Grit and Milo took a 6 hour bus ride from Berlin and Mette drove down with Sebastian and Nicoline from Copenhagen. So there we were, almost 10 years after our last get-together. My totally awesome friends! And now with their really cool kids!

 

We spent 4 nights together in a beautiful house on the Danish country side. We hung out, played, went to the beach, cooked and spent the evenings, after the kids were asleep, catching up over wine. These girls are great! Hanging out with them makes me so happy! And now they are all wonderful moms!

Now that I am back in Europe I hope to make this in to an annual get together. I also plan to visit each one of them. I love traveling in Europe, and William is a great travel partner!

Au-pair reunion in the works

So looking forward to May 9th to 13th when we have our au-pair reunion in Denmark! In '98-'99, we were au-pairs in California and we've stayed in touch ever since. We've visited each other in Europe many times before I left for the US. Now, we all have kids. Actually, Irina, Grit and I had our first babies all within a 2 month period. Mette's kids are a bit older, 5 and 7. Grit and Milo visited us in Arkansas in 2010, but this will be the first time I see the other kids. This is also the first time all of us get together since 2003 or 2004, when we had our last reunion in Gothenburg. That time we included our boyfriends. This time it's just us mamas and kiddos. We've rented a house in Nykøbing/Falster, near the beach. It will be interesting to see how the kids communicate. One American-Swede, two Danes and two Germans.

Old friends

I know I didn't move back to Sweden with any kind of notion that I was moving back to my old friends. Heck, we didn't even know anyone in Linköping. This is brand new territory. However, I did think that I would be able to get together with friends occasionally. A weekend trip here. Some weekend guests there. I certainly thought I would have gotten to see several of them by now. The only ones we've seen, we saw while visiting Gothenburg in January. I know we've been busy. I know people are busy. They have their lives. We have our lives. Still, I feel a bit disappointed. My oldest friends, living closest to us, are not around.